Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Less then 2 months, and I am freaking out sometimes

It's less then 2 months to go, and It looks like everything is doing great, finished my Tefl degree, got a great cheap house, saved enough money, and am ready to go to Japan and my wife.

But, with less then 2 months, I am also losing myself in some way, getting more stressed, losing my confident, and just sometimes don't know what to do. I guess this is because of being on a distance relation for 2.5 year, and this will be the last 2 months of it. I have to say goodbye to my family, my life, my country, and start all over again, is it really this difficult? or really this simple? I don't know any more how to think about certain things, I am having my emotions about this, but when I talk to my wife about it, i can't always get to hear what I want, that's not her fault, because she is raised by this, and same as most Japanese, feelings is just way different than we Dutch people.

But it's is tough sometimes, and I guess I just have to come over it, be strong, and be patient. I am already patient for 2 years now, and now is finaly the time , and I am freaking out haha.

I should be confident about myself more, and keep knowing in my mind that my wife is loving me, even though she is busy with school, herself, and our house etc.

Only less then 2 months... Counting of the days... day by day, day by day, everything looks so slow at the moment...

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